Guys, let’s face it: We all want to know the secrets of being an adonis between the sheets. For many of us, it remains elusive until we get some definitive advice that finally joins up all the dots. You hear so much conflicting information; it can be easy to just down and stick to the two positions you’ve always used. Your partner may not be begging you for more every night – but she seems happy enough … right?

Well, 75% of women never orgasm during sex, and you’d be shocked by how many ladies are faking their moans and groans of pleasure. If you’d like to have more sex with your other half, there are tried and tested methods that guarantee her satisfaction. The more she wants it, the more you’ll be fulfilled. Learning how to become a great lover is a win/win situation.

1. The Build-Up is Everything

It’s too easy for lads to get so focused on their thrusting or fingering technique that they neglect to realise the importance of teasing a woman to get her in the mood. So, you’ve discovered where the clitoris is? Great. But don’t think you’ve found the holy grail and keep rubbing away at it!

When it comes to pleasing a woman, stimulating her clitoris, nipples and other sexual parts is only for when she’s already seriously aroused. Something a lot of guys say at this point is, ‘oh, but in the beginning, she was turned on all the time’. Yes, of course, in the early stages, hormones are flying, and arousal happens much easier. It’s once you settle into a relationship that some skills and techniques need to be deployed.

Take your time. Kiss her neck, stroke her legs, working your way up to her inner thighs and stop before you get anywhere near her vag. Kiss her softly and tell her that she looks incredible while slowly removing her clothes. Leave her knickers and bra on, kiss every inch of her body, get tantalisingly close to her erogenous zones but don’t actually touch. If she’s not begging you to shag her at this point, you need to have a chat.

How to be better in bed

2. Listen to Her Cues

Breathing is a surefire sign of how turned on your partner is. Pay attention to detail – when she starts getting aroused, she’ll breathe deeper. As pleasure intensifies, it could become shallow or continue to get deeper and deeper. Everyone is different, and it’s only by experimenting and finding out what works that you’ll become a master of satisfaction.

Some guys apply too much pressure when using their hands – look at her face and listen to the sounds she makes. How fast or slow you go should depend on her signals, not how turned on you’re getting.

3. Take Charge

Not every girl wants a Christian Grey experience – and some prefer to take charge themselves, which you’ll soon find out. However, for the most part, ladies want to feel like you’re confident and self-assured when you’re getting down and dirty. Asking if she likes this or that or hesitating can be a major turn-off. She wants you to be able to tell for yourself if she’s getting off. Move her from position to position, and vary the intensity between fast, slow, gentle and rough.

4. Don’t Get Stuck in a Rut

If your idea of varying positions is between missionary or letting her go on top, it’s time to mix it up a little bit. You don’t even need a kama sutra anymore! You can Google different positions or even watch porn together and ask her which ones she’d like to try. Girls get bored of the same position over and over, and they’d love for you to be the one to suggest trying something new.

How to be better in bed

5. Communication

This is the key to everything. Openness with your sexual partner will always garner the most effective results. At first, you might feel a bit silly talking about intimate stuff – but once you get into it, it can be a total turn-on. If you can be fully upfront when you’re speaking to each other, imagine how filthy things will get in the sack. Get her to tell you exactly what she likes and how she likes it. Chances are, she’ll return the favour.

Remember, women love it when it seems as if you can read their mind. It’s not as hard as it sounds and you don’t need magical powers – just attention to detail and a soft but firm touch.

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